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Author: Nine Lives Lost
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Save Me
Can you tell me what you see?
Can you tell me who I should be?
Can you tell me how to be free?Can you save me?
Can you save me?
Can you save me?Can you tell me what to do?
Can you tell me who to choose?
Can you tell me how to believe?Can you save me?
Can you save me?
Can you save me?Can you tell me what to say?
Can you tell me who will stay?
Can you tell me how to grieve?Can you save me?
Can you save me?
Can you save me? -
Save Me
This song started life a very long time ago as nothing more than an instrumental sketch. Even without words, it carried a desperate edge, the kind of tension that sat unresolved in the chords. For years, it sat unfinished — until I revisited it with a different vision.
I decided to push it harder. I layered in heavy guitars, let the strings flood the background, and brought in an AI bandto give it a modern punch. What was once a quiet instrumental suddenly became this wide, cinematic cry for help.
Lyrically, Save Me is the simplest song I’ve written. It’s built on repetition — three verses, each with a few pleading questions, circling back again and again to the same line: “Can you save me?” That’s it. No elaborate storytelling, no complex verses. Just the same desperate call, echoing against the music.
And maybe that’s the point — when you’re at your lowest, there often aren’t a thousand words. There’s just one. One question. One plea.
This track feels both new and old to me: rooted in something I wrote long ago, but reborn into something bigger, darker, and more alive.
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Why an AI Band and no persona?
We write songs because the stories won’t leave us alone. They start as sketches sitting on the bed, voice, guitar, a pulse of an idea, and then ask for a different skin. Instead of forcing every song through one fixed singer or “AI persona,” we treat our AI tools like a rotating band of guest musicians. Each track gets the voice, tone, and production that best serves the story.
No fixed persona = more honest songs
A single, branded voice can be tidy for marketing, but it boxes the music in. Our songs wander across moods, alt-folk one day, indie rock the next, cinematic ballad after that. Locking into one timbre would make some stories feel false. With an AI band, we can “cast” the right vocalist for each narrative, the same way films cast actors for roles. The result feels more truthful: the performance fits the lyric instead of the lyric bending to a fixed voice.
“Guest vocalist” flexibility on every track
Think of it as an open-door studio session:
- Character match: We pick vocal color (age, grit, warmth, air) to mirror the narrator’s point of view.
- Genre fluency: Voices shift naturally with arrangement—whispery for folk, chesty and forward for rock, intimate for confessional pieces.
- Dynamic range: Some songs need restraint; others beg for a lift and edge. We select phrasing and power to fit the arc.
- Iteration without ego: We can try multiple ideas quickly and keep the one that best serves the song—no one’s identity is on the line.
Our process: from acoustic seed to finished track
- Write the story
Lyric first culture. Melody and chord bed come from simple acoustic takes—enough to prove the song stands on its own. - Define the role of the voice
Who’s speaking? Tender confessor, weary traveler, hopeful fighter? We write a short “character brief.” - Cast the vocalist
We audition AI vocal profiles against the brief, testing diction, grain, vibrato, and emotional lift on key lines (usually chorus first). - Direct the performance
We guide phrasing, emphasis, breaths, and timing to land the emotional beats. Micro-edits keep humanity—tiny imperfections, not clinical perfection. - Arrange around the truth
Instruments and production support the vocal: keep the acoustic heart, then layer rhythm, texture, and space to elevate the narrative. - Quality pass & transparency
Final checks for clarity, translation to different speakers, and a note about how AI was used. The writing is always ours; the vocal is a tool we play.
What stays consistent (even when the voice changes)
- Songwriting DNA: Our melodic shapes, turns of phrase, and recurring themes tie everything together.
- Acoustic backbone: Most tracks begin on guitar/piano and keep that core, even when the production grows.
- Story-first decisions: If an idea sounds cool but weakens the lyric, it goes.
Why this matters to listeners
- Variety without whiplash: You’ll hear a fresh vocal character where it makes sense, not change for the sake of novelty.
- Clearer storytelling: The “right” voice illuminates the lyric. You shouldn’t have to fight the timbre to feel the meaning.
- Discovery: Different textures invite repeat listens. The song you loved for the hook might reveal a new layer through the delivery.
What about “finding our sound”?
We may eventually settle into a tighter palette of voices and production colors. Right now, we’re deliberately exploring, turning acoustic concepts into something new and letting each song tell us what it needs. When patterns emerge naturally, we’ll honor them. Until then, curiosity leads.
Ethics & authorship
We’re transparent about our use of AI. We write the songs, shape the performances, and craft the productions. The AI vocalist is an instrument, powerful, flexible, and directed by human choice. The goal isn’t to fool anyone; it’s to serve the music.
Quick answers
- Does AI replace humans for us? No. It expands our creative options. We still collaborate with real musicians and are open to human guest vocals.
- Why not just pick one AI persona? Because different stories deserve different voices. A fixed persona would be a shortcut that costs truth.
- Will you perform live? Yes—live arrangements will feature human performers. The “guest vocalist” idea can carry over with session singers.
Nine Lives Lost is about songs, not a mascot. An AI band lets us cast the right voice every time, keep our acoustic heart, and transform ideas without losing the thread. If you hear a different singer on the next track, that’s the point, the story asked for them.
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9am
Looking out my doorway, the day looks kinda grey,
It’s only 5am.
Rain and dark skies, the way I feel inside,
Will it ever end?
The world still turns and I will never learn,
So I’m right back here again.
But there’s much to do, no time for missing you.
Well, maybe now and then.
And you don’t own me, and I don’t owe you,
That’s just the way it ends.
And you don’t owe me, and I don’t own you.
There’s nothing left to mend.
Staring at your picture, and I already miss you.
It’s only 9am.
Laughter and memories, you were perfect for me,
I never wanted it to end.
The clock ticks away, every minute, every day,
And starts all over again.
But there’s much to do, no time for missing you.
Well, maybe now and then.
And you don’t own me, and I don’t owe you,
That’s just the way it ends.
And you don’t owe me, and I don’t own you.
There’s no need to pretend.
Getting home late, swing open the gate.
It’s only 5pm.
The day is done, I’m just getting home,
Right back here again.
Dishes pile in the sink, too much time to think,
So I have one more drink.
There’s nothing else to do, so I lay here missing you,
Wondering who was to blame.
But you don’t own me, and I don’t owe you,
That’s just the way it ends.
And you don’t owe me, and I don’t own you.
Right back where we began.
But you don’t own me, and I don’t owe you,
That’s just the way it ends.
And you don’t owe me, and I don’t own you.
It’s too late to start again.
Looking out my doorway,
The sky looks kinda grey,
It’s only 10pm. -
9am
This song started as a normal morning with bad weather and too much thinking. It walks through a single day after a breakup: 5am, 9am, 5pm, 10pm. You make coffee, you check a photo you should probably hide, you do the dishes, you tell yourself you are fine, then you miss them a little. Nothing dramatic, just real life.
The chorus is the centre of it: you don’t own me, I don’t owe you. It is not angry, it is just clear. No scorecards, no big speeches, no one to punish. Sometimes things end and you try to leave each other with some dignity.
I like that the verses stay small. Rain, clocks, the gate, the sink. That is how most days feel after a split. You get on with it, then it taps you on the shoulder now and then. The song keeps circling back to that line, which is pretty much how the day works too.
Musically it keeps a steady pace. Vocal up close, nothing rushed. The hook lands each time the time of day flips over. You feel the loop, then you move on to the next bit of the day.
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Because Of You
Hey, it was great to see you everyday,
But we fell apart somewhere on the way.
Things don’t last, it’s just the way it goes,
But I’m so glad we shared this road.I never saw this coming ’round,
So unexpected what I’d found,
A helping hand when I was down,
A light fighting back the dark.You were always there for me,
We seem to fit so perfectly,
There’s no good reason I can see,
Why we’re now so far apart.And I must say,
I’m a better man today,
And I know for sure,
It’s all because of you.
And I must say,
In every way every new day,
Is so much brighter,
And it’s all because of you.These thoughts of you and everything you do,
Give me the strength to keep going on.
But the thought of you and all we’ve been through,
Makes this all feel so wrong.While I wished you stayed, I know why you went away,
But I would turn back time if I could.
The choices made are here with us to stay,
But if I could change them, I would.And I must say,
I’m a better man today,
And I know for sure,
It’s all because of you.
And I must say,
In every way every new day,
Is so much brighter,
And it’s all because of you.Since you’ve been away I count the minutes in the day,
And hope that you come back home again.
Memories fade but I’ll hold tight to keep them safe
They shine so bright through the pouring rain.I know it’s hard to do, the end of me and you,
But all we really needed was some time.
A new journey begun, the old one almost done,
It’s hard now, but in time we’ll be fine.And I must say,
I’m a better man today,
And I know for sure,
It’s all because of you.
And I must say,
In every way every new day,
Is so much brighter,
And it’s all because of you.It’s all because of you.
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Because Of You
Because Of You is a gratitude note to a relationship that did not last and still mattered. I wrote it with the belief that the things you love about someone at the start are real, and they do not disappear just because the story changes. The song sits in that space where you can miss a person and still be thankful for what they gave you. It is not about pretending the ending did not hurt. It is about noticing how love can shape you in ways that stay.
The verses remember simple things first: seeing each other every day, the surprise of finding help when you were at your worst, the feeling of light pushing back the dark. There is a tenderness in admitting how well we once fit, even while admitting we drifted apart. The chorus says the quiet truth out loud. I am a better man today, and it is because of you. That line is the spine of the song.
There is longing here too. Wishing you could turn back time. Counting minutes and hoping the door opens again. Owning the choices that cannot be undone. Those moments are honest, and they belong in the same frame as the gratitude. The point is not to erase the past or hold on forever. The point is to carry the best parts forward.
Over time I have learned that a good relationship teaches you things you do not unlearn. Patience. Kindness. How to listen. How to show up. Even after goodbye, those lessons keep working on you. Because Of You is my way of saying thank you for that. Thank you for the light when I needed it. Thank you for the parts of me that grew while we were together. I will keep those as I move through the rest of my life. Thank you for making me a better person.
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Bored Saturday
Bored Saturday is an instrumental snapshot of a quiet afternoon that turned into music almost by accident. I wandered into my little room, hit record, and stacked parts one after another with no plan, no map, and no pressure to impress anyone. It is rough around the edges on purpose. Levels drift, phrases lean, and that looseness is the point. It simply caught a mood and left it there.
What you hear is a small idea growing in real time. A simple motif starts the conversation, a second voice answers it, and a gentle pulse keeps everything moving forward. Sections arrive because they felt right in the moment, not because a chart said they should. A few passages carry the exact feeling of that day, and that is why this piece survived when so many others did not.
There is no story to decode and no lyric to chase. Let it play and see where it takes you. If it feels like a slow Saturday that suddenly mattered, then you are hearing what I heard.
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Bored Saturday
I recorded this on a quiet afternoon with nothing in mind except passing time. I sat down, pressed record, and added one part after another—no chart, no click, no plan. It was just something to do on a slow Saturday, and that looseness is baked into the track.
It’s as rough as they come. Levels drift, timing wobbles, and a few notes barely stick the landing. That’s why I like it. There was no pressure to impress anyone; it simply caught a mood and left it there. Certain little phrases still pull me right back to that room, which is probably why it survived when so many other sketches disappeared.
The whole thing came together by feel. One continuous take grew as each layer suggested the next. I kept the imperfections because they tell the story better than a polished version ever could.
Not every piece needs a grand reason to exist. Sometimes music is just a record of how you felt on an ordinary day. Bored Saturday is exactly that: a simple instrumental that turned a slow afternoon into something I can still hear and remember.
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What You Want To Be
Hey Cassidy,
Do you know what you want to be?
Hey, my little girl,
What are you going to do out in the world?Maybe a farmer, working the land?
Or an architect, drawing up plans?
A pilot, flying so high?
An astronomer, watching the sky?Maybe an artist, palette so bright?
Or a doctor, saving a life?
A musician, playing perfect notes?
A writer, sharing what you wrote?Whatever it is you choose to do,
Where ever this crazy life takes you,
Whatever it is, you decide to be,
It won’t matter at all to me.
It won’t matter at all to me.Hey Cassidy,
Do you know what you want to be?
Hey, my little girl,
What are you going to do out in the world?Maybe a singer, singing your songs?
Or a lawyer, righting the wrongs?
A dancer, putting on a show?
A racer, fast as you can go?Maybe a runner, winning every race?
A detective, solving every case?
A scientist, so much to explore?
An activist, fighting for us all?Whatever it is you choose to do,
Where ever this crazy life takes you,
Whatever it is, you decide to be,
It won’t matter at all to me.
It won’t matter at all to me.Hey Cassidy,
Do you know what you want to be?
Hey, my little girl,
What are you going to do out in the world?Maybe a road worker, fixing roads?
Or a trucker, hauling your loads?
A sailor, sailing the seas?
A beekeeper, caring for your bees?Maybe a mechanic, working on cars?
Or a journalist, reporting from afar?
A busker, strumming your guitar?
A bartender, tending your bar?Whatever it is you choose to do,
Where ever this crazy life takes you,
Whatever it is, you decide to be,
It won’t matter at all to me.
It won’t matter at all to me.And I’ll be here if ever you call,
And pick you up if ever you fall.
And I’ll love you no matter what,
For what you are, for what you’re not.And you mean the world to me,
I’m as proud as I can be.
And you mean the world to me,
And I’m as proud as I can be.As proud as a dad can be.
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What You Want To Be
I wrote this one on a lonely night when Cassidy was just a very young girl. I was thinking about how every kid gets asked the same question: what do you want to be. The verses turn that question into a game, running through jobs from pilot to beekeeper, dancer to mechanic, architect to activist. It is not a checklist. It is a way of saying that all doors are welcome.
It was important at the time for her that despite the fact her mum and I had separated, that she was still the most important thing to me, no matter where I ended up. That is why it was important feature her name in the song. The rest of the song is quickly paced, a reflection of how quickly time passes, and the opportunities that were in front of her.
The chorus is the heart of the song. Whatever it is you choose to do. Wherever life takes you. It will not change how proud I am or how quickly I will show up when you call. That is the whole point. The job title can change a hundred times. The love does not.
You can hear the lullaby in it. Simple chords, bright images, a steady pulse that feels like a hand on a shoulder. I wanted it to feel light and encouraging, the kind of tune you can hum while packing a lunch, driving to school, or walking home after a hard day.
Fifteen years later, the promise has been tested and it has held. Plans have shifted, new interests have appeared, and real life has done what real life does. Through all of it, I have stayed exactly where the song says I would be: in her corner, proud as a dad can be.
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I Don’t Know (2020)
This road is killing me,
So tired I can’t see,
A weight on top of me,
So heavy I can’t breathe.But I can’t stay, and I can’t leave,
What ever happened to you and me?
I Reach out my hand, wondering,
‘Cause I don’t know.At war again tonight,
Who is wrong, who is right?
Too tired to fight this fight,
Close my eyes, turn off the light.But I can’t stay, and I can’t leave,
What ever happened to you and me?
I Reach out my hand, trembling,
‘Cause I don’t know.These shoes old and worn,
This heart ripped and torn,
This will almost gone,
This road, so hard and long.But I can’t stay, and I can’t leave,
What ever happened to you and me?
I Reach out my hand, hurting,
‘Cause I don’t know.But I have to say,
I want to stay,
But I just can’t
Go on this way.
And everyday,
We forget what we say,
We walk away,
And pretend we’re ok.Grab my things, got to move on,
Find a place I belong,
Thought we’re fine, I was wrong.
I tried so hard, but now I’m done.But I can’t stay, I have to leave,
What once we had, long left me,
Take that first step, stumbling,
‘Cause I don’t know.Open road in front of me,
As far as I can see,
Afraid of what might be,
All alone, but I am free.But I couldn’t stay, I had to leave,
What once we had, a distant memory,
Another step, I’ll keep moving,
And I don’t know.But I couldn’t stay, I had to leave,
What once we had, a distant memory,
Another step, I’ll keep moving,
And I don’t know. -
I Don’t Know (2020)
This is the version we recorded before bringing in AI production and AI vocals. The song sits in that no-win space where you are too tired to stay and too tangled to leave. The chorus keeps asking the same question because real life often does. What happened to us, and what am I supposed to do now.
You will hear the draft all over it. Lines move mid take. Some phrases repeat while we search for the right shape. The vocal is a scratch pass that lets the feeling lead the melody, not the other way around. It is imperfect on purpose.
The story is simple. Two people locked in a loop. Fights that blur together. A long road that drains the will to keep walking. The narrator keeps reaching out, then pulls back. That push and pull lives in the arrangement too, even in this early state.
Why include a rough version like this. Because it shows our process. We use AI to test keys, tempo, harmony, and tone. We give it a track like this and ask it to help us clean the rhythm, balance the dynamics, and carry a vocal that our home setup cannot. The result is not a shortcut. It is a better sketch to hand to real players later.
What to listen for:
- The opening verse sets the weight and the breathless feel.
- Each chorus swaps a single word in the last line to match the moment.
- The bridge admits the truth. I want to stay, but I cannot go on this way.
- The final verses step out onto open road. Fear is still there, but so is freedom.
Later versions tightened the lyric, clarified the rhyme, and gave the chorus a stronger lift. This 2020 cut keeps the raw edges so you can hear where it started and why we asked AI to help us finish the idea.
If the theme hits you, tell us how you would arrange it. Different tempo. Different groove. Different harmony. We are always keen to hear new takes that help us turn a rough concept into the best version of itself.
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Choices Made
Choices I made caused so much pain,
Insecurity crept back out again,
The things I did I can’t explain,
And I only have myself to blame.Three thousand miles tore us apart,
Shattered my soul and broke my heart.
Left me bleeding in the dark,
Nursing my pride and counting my scars.And we could have been so great,
So many memories yet to create,
So many adventures for us to take,
Oh, we could have been so great.Never saw the world through your eyes,
Never learned to compromise,
Could have done better, but didn’t try,
I couldn’t change, not sure why.Sitting here, hurting so much,
Sitting here counting the cost,
Of what I am and what I’m not,
Of what I had and what I lost.And we could have been so great,
So many mornings for us to awake,
So much love for us to embrace.
Oh, we could have been so great.I’m waiting here haunted and afraid,
Paying the price for the mess I made.
Chasing shadows as the daylight fades,
Hoping you might come back some day.I hope you saw the best in me,
Who I am and who I try to be.
I know I am not what you need,
But I wish you were here with me.And we could have been so great,
So many sunsets for us to chase.
So many fears for us to face.
Oh, we could have been so great.On these lonely nights I dream of you,
Of spending the rest of my days with you,
Life didn’t go how I wanted it to.
But in my sleep these lies are true.The morning chases these dreams away,
Reality finds me right where I lay,
But I need to get up, face the day,
And accept that you couldn’t stay.I tried so hard, and so did you,
But we lost our way far too soon,
Such a waste of me and you,
You were so very hard to lose.And we could have been so great,
So many chances for us to take,
A whole life to navigate,
Oh, we could have been so great.And we could have been so great,
This is the price for my mistake,
I’m ready to change, but it’s too late,
But we could have been so great. -
Choices Made
Every road we walk is paved with decisions. Choices Made tells that story in plain language and clear images. It moves from the first sting of regret to the quieter work of owning what happened and learning to stand back up.
The verses look straight at the fallout. Distance, pride, and fear widen the gap. There is no scapegoat here. The narrator says it out loud: I only have myself to blame. We feel the late nights, the counting of cost, and the empty space where someone used to be.
The chorus is a recurring heartbeat. We could have been so great. It is not bragging. It is grief for a life that almost was. Those lines hold the memories that never got made, the mornings that never started together, the fears that could have been faced side by side.
There is a turn in the final stretch. Dreams give way to daylight. Reality finds you where you lay, and still you get up. Acceptance arrives, not as surrender, but as a new kind of clarity. You cannot rewrite yesterday, but you can own it and choose what comes next. The bridge honors the truth that both people tried, and that losing each other still hurts.
Musically and lyrically, Choices Made is built for honesty. No clever distractions, just a steady pulse and words that say what they mean. If you have ever stood at a fork in the road wondering how you got there, this song is for you. May it help you forgive the past, take the lesson, and make the next choice with a little more light.
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To Be Happy
Little boy,
Swinging on his swing,
Smiling at everything,
He’s just trying to be happy.Little girl,
Climbing in her tree,
As high as can be,
She’s just trying to be happy.Young boy,
In the front row,
Just watching the show.
Thinking he can be happy.Young girl,
In the bright lights,
Heart set on the spotlight.
Thinking she can be happy.And all the things they told you,
All the things you thought true,
Just lies that they sold you.
Telling you how to be happy.
And all the things you once knew,
Were just stories for you,
Designed to control you,
But you see what you want to see.Weary dad,
In the work queue,
Doing what he has to,
He wants to be happy.Burnt-out mum,
Working the night shift,
Waiting for the lift,
She wants to be happy.Tired man,
On the subway,
Trying to get away,
He wants to be happy.Old lady,
She’s all alone,
Not wanting to go home,
She wants to be happy.And all the things they told you,
All the things you thought true,
Just lies that they sold you.
Telling you how to be happy.
And all the things you once knew,
Were just stories for you,
Designed to control you,
But you see what you want to see.But if you let the past fade,
Forget the mistakes made,
Give up this crazy charade,
Maybe you can be happy.It is so easy to be wrong,
Getting confused as we move along,
Fair is the road you’re on,
Who knows where it’s going?Hiding pain in plain sight,
Behind your cheap disguise,
Without even knowing why,
Or if it even matters.And all the things they told you,
All the things you thought true,
Just lies that they sold you.
Telling you how to be happy.
And all the things you once knew,
Were just stories for you,
Designed to control you,
But you see what you want to see.But you see what you want to see.
But you see what you want to see. -
To Be Happy
We spend years trying to be happy without agreeing on what happy means. To Be Happy follows small scenes from a swing set to bright lights to late trains, and shows how the goal keeps moving as life gets louder.
The chorus calls it out. People will tell you how to be happy. They repeat tidy stories that sound true, even when they are guessing. We learn to hide our pain and call it balance. We keep going because stopping feels risky.
Near the end, the song turns. Let the past fade. Forgive the mistakes. Drop the act. Maybe happiness is not a prize but a handful of ordinary moments you are allowed to keep.
If this track finds you mid-search, define the word for yourself. Keep what rings true. Leave the rest. And if a line sticks with you, tell me which one and why.
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Sister
It’s your day, this is your day,
And we really must say.
We’re so glad that you’re here,
With your family and friends.This is a time to share,
A time to love, a time to care,
And we couldn’t have made it this far,
Without you here.Your mother remembers you as a beautiful baby child,
Running and hiding in the park, so young, and so wild.
Do you remember driving lessons? You managed to roll the car,
Smashed all the milk bottles, you weren’t very popular!So many Kodak moments, these years have flown by fast,
Picnics, road trips, board games in the park.
A hundred birthday cakes, that only you could make,
And countless homemade treats, the things that you bake.It’s your day, this is your day,
And we really must say.
We’re so glad that you’re here,
With your family and friends.This is a time to share,
A time to love, a time to care,
And we couldn’t have made it this far,
Without you here.You always loved your garden, Myrtie would be so proud,
Every kind of flower, fruit, and veggie, all year round.
Always busy renovating, turning this house into a home,
And creating works of art to make it glow.Now it’s time for grandkids, what a grandma you’ve become,
Teaching the new generation, making growing up fun.
Every moment filled with love, and so much care,
And for every scraped knee, you’re always right there.It’s your day, this is your day,
And we really must say.
We’re so glad that you’re here,
With your family and friends.This is a time to share,
A time to love, a time to care,
And we couldn’t have made it this far,
Without you here.Though we’ve spread our wings, no matter where we go,
We still find our way back to the place you made home.
Thank you, for all the amazing things that you do,
You made us who we are, thank you, Sue!You made us who we are, thank you, Sue!
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Sister
Every songwriter has a few songs they never expected to survive the test of time. Sister is one of mine. I wrote it years ago as a birthday gift for my sister. It wasn’t crafted to be polished or profound, but to capture the joy, laughter, and memories that surround her life. In many ways, it’s the kind of song that should have stayed tucked away as a family keepsake, but even now, it still means something to me.
The song weaves through childhood memories, from running wild in the park to not-so-successful driving lessons that ended with smashed milk bottles. It moves into the everyday treasures that make up a life well-lived: birthday cakes, road trips, gardens, renovations, and the countless ways she has given her time and care to everyone around her.
At its heart, the chorus is simple: it’s your day, this is your day, a time to love and to share. Cheesy? Maybe. But it’s also true. None of us would be who we are without her.
One of the most meaningful verses to me is the one about her becoming a grandmother. It’s a reminder that love has a way of multiplying through generations, and that her kindness, patience, and creativity ripple outward far beyond what any of us can see.
“Sister” might not be the most polished song I’ve ever written, but it carries the warmth of family, the gratitude of siblings, and the laughter of memories that never fade. It’s a thank-you wrapped in melody. And sometimes, those are the songs that matter most.
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Broken Glass
I’m never as tall, as the shadow that’s cast,
When the waking sun, pushes its way past.
The new day rattled, uncertain, unsure,
Tired and sickly, searching for a cure.Walking along, a car pulls on side,
Called out the window, offered me a ride.
Didn’t ask where they were going, they didn’t say,
I swung open the door, climbed in anyway.And I can’t stand that sound, so loud, all around,
Feels like a bullet in my head that I can’t get out.
All the lies that I tell myself will never be true,
A house of broken glass, cutting me and cutting you.We traveled together, spoke as strangers do,
Reckless and lost, nothing to lose,
The miles slid by, the clock ticked away,
But I got restless, and couldn’t stay.I came to a river, asked “where do you go?”,
She whispered quietly, “I really don’t know.”
“Set down what you carry, I’ll share the load”,
I tossed my shoes in the water, walked barefoot home.And I can’t stand that sound, so loud, all around,
Feels like a bullet in my head that I can’t get out.
All the lies that I tell myself will never be true,
A house of broken glass, a palace and a prison too.Each day falls and fades, no reason to stay,
Lingers in the soft light, then slips away.
You won’t see what I see, you look the other way,
My troubled world crumbles a little more each day.You say you understand, I’m not sure you do,
The truth’s become a stranger, to both me and you.
Embracing isolation, I built this fort alone,
Now no one comes to visit this godforsaken home.And I can’t stand that sound, so loud, all around,
Feels like a bullet in my head that I can’t get out.
All the lies that I tell myself will never be true,
A house of broken glass, you can see right through.All the things I’ve been chasing,
Are just white noise and empty thrills,
Stepping on mines I laid as I made my way,
With too much time to kill.Interpretation is the enemy, screaming so loud,
A bitter-sweet poison, for the hungry crowd.
And these tantalising tales designed to deceive,
Crawl out of the woodwork, sticking to you and me.This world is so blurred, behind the stained glass,
Praying for change, but change never lasts.
Confused and bruised, hiding from the light,
Falling further behind, just trying to get by.And I can’t stand that sound, so loud, all around,
Feels like a bullet in my head that I can’t get out.
All the lies that I tell myself will never be true,
A house of broken glass, cutting me, cutting you. -
Broken Glass
Some songs arrive like whispers, others like storms. Broken Glass came somewhere in between. It is a story about moving through days that feel uncertain, about stepping into situations without thinking, about carrying burdens too heavy to name.
The imagery is sharp and fractured. A stranger offering a ride. A restless escape that ends at a river. Shoes tossed aside, walking barefoot into the unknown. The chorus anchors it all: that piercing sound, like a bullet in the head that won’t go away, echoing against a house of broken glass. It’s not just a home, but a prison, fragile and transparent, one you can never really hide inside.
The song explores themes of disconnection, lies we tell ourselves, and the loneliness of building walls so high no one can reach us. Each verse pulls you deeper into that blurred, dangerous space where truth slips away and everything feels uncertain. The bridge and later verses speak of chasing empty thrills, of stepping on mines you laid yourself, of tales that deceive and shadows that won’t let go.
For me, Broken Glass isn’t about one moment in time. It’s about the recurring cycle of doubt, isolation, and fragile hope. The way life can look so solid from the outside, yet be so dangerously thin when you’re living inside it.
It’s not an easy song, but it’s an honest one. Sometimes honesty feels like shards beneath your feet, cutting you open as you walk forward. That’s what this song tries to capture.
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My Plains Video Girl
I’m just a simple guy,
I live a simple life.
I love these small-town days,
I love these small-town ways.I’d walk the hill each day,
To pass some time away,
Ten minutes, maybe more,
To my Plains Video store.And I will never forget
The day we almost met.
Looked up and saw you there;
All I could do was stare.You smiled a little awkwardly,
I wondered if it was meant for me.
I stood there, couldn’t breathe,
Silently smiling foolishly.You’ll always be, my Plains Video Girl,
You’ll always be, the one who stole my world.
From that moment on, I knew you were the one,
I’ll press record for my Plains Video Girl.Each Sunday I’d wander through,
Hoping for a glimpse of you.
I’d steal a smile along the way,
And I would be high for days.I’d pop in just to say hi,
But never spoke, I wonder why.
I guess I was just too shy,
We shared a smile and passed by.The seasons quickly slipped away,
But I thought of you most days.
Went back, but you were gone,
I guess you’d moved along.I lived for every sideways glance,
And wished I’d taken a chance.
But we’ll meet again in my dreams,
We’ll have breakfast at Tiffany’s.You’ll always be, my Plains Video Girl,
You’ll always be, the one who stole my world.
From that moment on, I knew you were the one,
I’ll press rewind for my Plains Video Girl.Then one night, out on the town,
In a club, getting another round.
As I turned, to my surprise,
You grabbed me and kissed me twice.Not a word, just your lips on mine,
A kiss I’ll remember for all time.
The lights were bright, the music loud,
Then you disappeared into the crowd.I stood there, not knowing what to say,
Frozen as you ran away.
Overwhelmed and overcome,
I looked around, but you were long gone.I never got to see you again,
But I think of you now and then.
Such a strange, magical night,
I’ll treasure for the rest of my life.You’ll always be, my Plains Video Girl,
You’ll always be, the one who stole my world.
From that moment on, I knew you were the one,
I’ll press play for my Plains Video Girl.My Plains Video Girl.
My Plains Video Girl. -
My Plains Video Girl
Back in the early 90s, when VHS tapes lined the shelves of every small-town video store, I found myself in Toowoomba. Just down the road from where I lived was a place called Plains Video. For most people, it was just a spot to rent movies, but for me, it became something much more.
There was a girl who worked there, and for reasons I still don’t fully understand, she became the center of a strange, shy, and slightly creepy crush. Each Sunday I’d wander down, pretending to browse the shelves, while really hoping to catch just a smile or glance in her direction. I’d even make up excuses to visit, borrowing movies I didn’t really want, just to step through those doors and maybe see her.
The song tells that story, from the small-town routines to the nervous smiles that never turned into conversations. Seasons came and went, and eventually she was gone. I thought that was the end of it, until one night at a nightclub when, out of nowhere, she grabbed me and kissed me twice before vanishing into the crowd. No words, just a moment that felt surreal and unforgettable.
My Plains Video Girl is a kooky, true account of that time in my life. It’s about youthful longing, missed chances, and the strange magic of one stolen kiss. Looking back, I can smile at how awkward and funny it all was, but at the same time, I still feel the warmth of that memory.
Some crushes fade, but others linger like the glow of a VHS tape paused too long on the screen. This was mine.
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Why Oh Why?
I’ve been writing songs for years, most of them bad, and only managed to get three mostly finished. Along the way I’ve collected heaps of scratchy acoustic recordings that never really went anywhere.
A few months ago, I started experimenting with AI to turn some of those rough demos into something a little more shareable. In what will probably end up being a very embarrassing move, I’ve uploaded the first 35 of them to my site. There are still more to go. Each one has a bit of background and the lyrics, and I’ll add the chords soon.
Why am I doing this? Honestly, I don’t really know. What do I hope to achieve? I’m not sure about that either. Maybe it’s just about finally getting them out into the world instead of letting them sit unfinished on a hard drive. The long term goal is to find the best songs and actually make them end-to-end. Not sure if or when that might happen.
They’re all pretty personal, circling around a few recurring themes that keep showing up in my writing. From time to time, I might post one here as well. If you see that cat “Church,” you’ll know it’s another Nine Lives Lost post sneaking into your feed. And just for the record, don’t blame AI for the chord progressions. I’ve always used pretty standard progressions in pretty standard keys.
If you’re curious about how I’m actually using AI in the process, the AI page explains it in more detail.
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Your Smile
The smile on your face tells me things will get better
The smile on your face lets me know this for sure.
The smile on your face brightens each and every moment,
The smile on your face, each day, means so much more.With every smile, I get a little more addicted,
With every hug, I walk high on clouds above.
With every new hello, I forget all my troubles.
And every single day, I feel more love.The look in your eye makes me feel so happy,
That look in your eye makes it easy to go on,
The look in your eye helps me get up on cold mornings,
That look in your eye tells me you’re my little one.With every smile, I get a little more addicted,
With every hug, I walk high on clouds above.
With every new hello, I forget all my troubles.
And every single day, I feel more love.The sound of your laugh is a splendid melody,
The sound of your laugh is perfect to me.
The sound of your laugh chases away my problems,
The sound of your laugh gets me back on my feet.With every smile, I get a little more addicted,
With every hug, I walk high on clouds above.
With every new hello, I forget all my troubles.
And every single day, I feel more love.You may never know the way you heal me,
You may never see the things I see,
A priceless, perfect smile just for me,
A gift that always fits so perfectly.With every smile, I get a little more addicted,
With every hug, I walk high on clouds above.
With every new hello, I forget all my troubles.
And every single day, I feel more love. -
Your Smile
Some songs come from chasing ideas, and others appear because they cannot be held back. Your Smile belongs to the second kind.
I wrote it over 14 years ago, soon after my daughter was born. At that point, I had been through a damaging relationship and had convinced myself that I would never be a parent again. I thought that part of life had passed me by. Then, against all expectation, circumstances shifted, and this perfect little person came into my world.
The song itself is straightforward, but its meaning has only grown with time. Every day since, I have felt grateful beyond words. Everything people tell you about being a parent—the joy, the perspective, the way love reshapes you—turned out to be true. Her smile has always been more than just an expression. It has been a lifeline, a reminder that even after loss, there can be renewal, and that love can arrive when you least expect it.
I still sing Your Smile with the same feeling I had when I first wrote it. It may not be complicated, but it is honest. It was born from gratitude for a gift I almost missed out on, and it remains a reminder of how lucky I am to be her parent. Every day, I carry that blessing with me.
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Bungled And Botched
Silent and still, fallen to the floor,
Light bleeding in through the cracks in the wall.
Watching this cold crazy world spin around,
Trying to wake this sleeping ghost town.Watching the faceless wander around,
Aimlessly marching, eyes fixed on the ground.
Shoes split open, souls worn to the bone,
Lost in their ways, not even knowing.We’re hopelessly lost, enslaved by the lying,
Not really living, not really dying.
Caught by delusion, chained to the crowd,
Too bungled and botched to ever get out.Stumble to my feet, collapse into bed,
The things that I’ve seen, dance in my head.
The desperate unnamed, living their dreams,
Just enough rope, so they think they are free.Step after step, they all march in a line,
Delightfully compliant, and in perfect time.
Two dollar disguises, hide their despair,
And the pills they swallow, make sure they don’t care.We’re hopelessly lost, enslaved by the lying,
Not really living, not really dying.
Caught by delusion, chained to the crowd,
Too bungled and botched to ever get out.The day slowly fails, the night quickly falls,
Another cross on the wall that means nothing at all.
We’re taught not to question, taught not to think,
These pointless puppets on dollar bill strings.You crawl out of bed, to start over again,
The same old days, doing the same old things.
You’re told you’re happy, but you can’t be sure,
You’re living a life, but it might not be yours.We’re hopelessly lost, enslaved by the lying,
Not really living, not really dying.
Caught by delusion, chained to the crowd,
Too bungled and botched to ever get out.Too bungled and botched to ever get out.
Too bungled and botched to ever get out. -
Bungled And Botched
Bungled and Botched is a cynical reflection on how power quietly shapes the lives we lead. It speaks about the way corporations, governments, and even peers decide what we value, how we measure success, and what we consider freedom. The song looks at a world where people blindly follow, convinced they are free, but never aware of the strings that hold them in place.
The verses paint images of faceless crowds moving in lockstep, shoes split open and souls worn down. There is just enough rope to give the illusion of freedom, yet never enough to break away. We see masks worn to hide despair, pills swallowed to numb thought, and walls marked with symbols that mean nothing. It is a bleak cycle of repetition where people are told they are happy but cannot be sure if the life they live is even theirs.
Bungled and Botched offers no comfort and no escape. Instead, it holds up a mirror and forces us to look at the weight of delusion and conformity. It speaks to the hollow feeling of being caught in routines that drain purpose, of being alive without truly living. It is not a song of solutions but of recognition, pulling apart the lie and naming the prison that so many mistake for freedom.
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The Pain I Feel
The pain I feel, is real,
And it won’t go away.
It’s chemistry, a part of me,
That I just can’t escape.
It comes at night, wants a fight,
Why won’t it let me be?
Standing over me, I try to breathe,
It’s got a hold on me.I stand my ground, won’t back down,
Headfirst I dive, into the fight.
You won’t see, the fear in me,
I keep it hidden, out of sight.
I need to win, this war within,
This struggle raging deep inside.
What can I do, to be more like you?
Being ok must feel so nice.It’s in my head, the storm within.
These monsters circle all around.
They throw me down, down to the ground,
But I keep getting up again.
And I can’t take, the noise they make,
I cover my ears but it gets through,
Too late, it’s more than I can take,
This is a battle I might lose.I stand my ground, won’t back down,
Headfirst I dive, into the fight.
You won’t see, the fear in me,
I keep it hidden, out of sight.
I need to win, this war within,
This struggle raging deep inside.
What can I do, to be more like you?
Being ok must feel so nice.These walls close in, locking me in,
Shadows crawl out of the dark.
It’s so surreal, how I feel,
And it’s tearing me apart.
Deep inside, a flame survives,
And it can’t be put to sleep.
A voice comforts me, a little levity,
Making promises it can’t keep.I stand my ground, won’t back down,
Headfirst I dive, into the fight.
You won’t see, the fear in me,
I keep it hidden, out of sight.
I need to win, this war within,
This struggle raging deep inside.
What can I do, to be more like you?
Being ok must feel so nice.What can I do, to be like you?
Feeling ok must be, so nice. -
The Pain I Feel
For as long as I can remember, I have been at war with my own mind. Growing up, I did not know the word anxiety. I just knew something was wrong. For the first 25 years of my life I thought I was crazy, that the things I felt and the ways I reacted were proof that I was broken. The world around me did not help much either. In my youth, the most common prescription for my struggles was not therapy or medication. It was being told I needed “a good kick up the ass.” That was the reality. No understanding, no real help. Just a sense that I had to tough it out.
The Pain I Feel was born out of those years and everything that followed. It is not just a song. It is a reflection of my fight with mental health. I have lived through dissociation, hyper-awareness, extreme sensitivity to light and noise, and overwhelming confusion. I have had moments where I lost control completely, trying to get out of moving cars, developing full-on ticks, running from nothing I could name. At my lowest point, I locked myself away in my room for months, losing battle after battle, convinced I would never come out.
But then one day, I did. I found enough strength to step outside that room and reach out for help. And I was lucky enough to find a doctor who actually listened. That moment did not erase the struggle. I do not believe you ever “win” this fight. But it gave me the tools to begin managing it. For me, medication was not the answer, though I know it helps many. Instead, I had to find my own ways to cope, to push back against the monsters that never really go away.
That is what The Pain I Feel is about. The chorus is a cry of defiance:
I stand my ground, won’t back down,
Headfirst I dive into the fight.
You won’t see the fear in me,
I keep it hidden, out of sight.It is about the war within, the fear buried so deep that no one else can see it. It is about fighting battles that never end, knowing the monsters will always return, but refusing to give up.
But there is another side to this story too, the people who were pulled into my darkness along the way. To my partners who stood by me during those hardest times: I am sorry. You deserved better than the chaos I brought into our lives. At the time, none of us knew what we were really up against. There was nothing you could have done, but you were there anyway. Your incredible support, even when I could not explain what I was going through, will always mean more to me than I can say. Thank you, truly.
Writing this song was not easy. It meant putting into words experiences I had spent years hiding. But it also gave me a kind of release. Music lets me say what I could not say out loud, and in that process, it connects me to others who might be going through the same thing.
I do not think anyone’s journey with anxiety or mental health is the same. Some people take medication. Some find therapy. Some find strength in faith, community, or art. I found a little of mine in writing this song. The problems never go away completely. If I get too tired, too worn down, they can still overwhelm me. But I have learned that as long as I keep fighting, I am not lost.
The Pain I Feel is for anyone who has ever sat in silence, hiding what they are going through, and for anyone who has ever felt like being “okay” was out of reach. If you have felt that, you will know the truth in this song. You are not alone in the fight.