Your cart is currently empty!
Author: Nine Lives Lost
-
Edge
“Edge” is a song about the disorienting feeling of going through life, from the highs to the lows, and never really understanding any of it. It’s the journey of feeling lost in a world that’s constantly shifting around you, where answers seem out of reach and everything just feels… confusing. We all try to make sense of it—the moments of joy, the struggles, the victories, the defeats—but in the end, it can all seem like a blur, like we’re just tumbling through it without a clear understanding.
I wrote “Edge” during a time when I was reflecting on the cyclical nature of life. It feels like we’re constantly on the edge of something—whether it’s a breakthrough, a breakdown, or just another step forward. But we never truly know if we’re getting any closer to what we’re supposed to understand. The song’s raw, uncertain tone captures that feeling of being on the edge, of looking over the vastness of life and realizing that, maybe, none of us ever really figure it out.
The song doesn’t offer answers, because I don’t think there are any. It’s more about acknowledging the chaos, the confusion, and the endless loop of trying, failing, and trying again. And maybe that’s all we can do—keep moving through it, without fully understanding it, just hoping that the next step is the one that leads us to something real.
-
Edge
Standing on the edge,
And I’m looking out,
The world stop making sense,
And I’m just trying to figure it out.I watch the night creep in,
And the people come and go,
But they’re just as lost as I am,
And I wonder if they even know.And this day begins,
Like every other day,
I sit up and I look around,
But here is where I’ll stay.Another day has passed,
Another night has come,
Another desperate plea,
Another promise come undone.And I don’t understand,
Much of what’s going on around me,
And I’m not thinking straight,
And my eyes ache, the light is blinding.And I don’t understand,
Much of what anyone is saying,
I hold my tongue and stay silent,
But deep inside I’m screaming.And I am here all on my own,
I hear that sound, and now I’m crying,
And I’ve got no idea,
Where I’ve been or where I’m going.And I am here, caught in the crowd,
I feel the pain, and now I’m running,
And I’ve got no idea,
Where I’ve been or where I’m going.And I am here, wandering around,
I seem confused, and now I’m drowning,
And I’ve got no idea,
Where I’ve been or where I’m going.And I am here, heading home,
I see that light, and now I’m flying,
And I’ve got no idea,
Where I’ve been or where I’m going.And I don’t understand,
Much of what’s going on around me,
But this world keeps spinning on,
With or without me. -
Why?
Nine Lives Lost is a bit of a paradox for me. I’m not entirely sure why I keep doing it, but I do. At the heart of it, it’s really about the writing—getting something out of my head and onto paper. The music comes after that, the words always take the lead. Yes, we make demos, but the words are the driving force. They’re the core of the song, the part that I want to share.
We’ve had to lean on AI to help package everything up because, frankly, studio time is beyond our reach. Plus, I know I don’t have the voice to pull off some of the songs as I envision them. We’ve got songs that are end-to-end traditional, but truthfully, I don’t connect with them as much as I do the tracks produced with AI. Don’t get me wrong, making music with AI is no walk in the park—it’s still a lot of work. And even then, you only get 80-90% of what you’re trying to achieve. But it’s enough to move the project forward.
What’s exciting now is that we’re starting to blend the AI-produced tracks with real vocals and instruments, something that feels a bit more like a true collaboration between man and machine. AI has given me a tool that I never had before. In the past ten years, I’ve completed three songs, accumulated hundreds of concepts, and filled up countless notebooks. Before AI, that’s all I had—ideas in my head and a lot of scribbled notes.
I’d love for making music to be my full-time job, but it isn’t. I write when I can, and I do the best with what I have. I don’t claim to be a musician, but I still have something to say. I hope that someone out there finds something of value in the stories I’m sharing through my music. If even one person connects with a line, a melody, or a feeling, it makes it all worth it.
-
Belong
This world is so frightening,
Such thunder, such lightning.
What I’m seeing, I’m not believing,
All these things keep me dreaming.The rain comes so suddenly,
Washing away old memories.
And time has taken its toll,
Done its work, taken control.My journey ends before it begins,
Searching for comfort around each bend.
I think I know, but I could be wrong,
Still chasing the place where I belong.I want someone to remember my name.
I want someone to be glad I came.
I want someone to think of me sometimes.
I want someone to share these good times.I want someone to help me through.
I want someone to lean on me too.
I want to find my way back home.
I want to belong to someone.This road, so long and winding,
It holds the joy and tears I’m hiding.
And I know how you’re feeling,
What you hide, what you’re revealing.I see the weight you’re bearing,
The hopes and fears you’re wearing.
Though words are few, it might be true,
You just want to belong too.My journey ends before it begins,
Searching for comfort around each bend.
I think I know, but I could be wrong,
Still chasing the place where I belong.I want someone to remember my name.
I want someone to be glad I came.
I want someone to think of me sometimes.
I want someone to share these good times.I want someone to help me through.
I want someone to lean on me too.
I want to find my way back home.
I want to belong to someone. -
Belong
There are times when it feels like no matter where we go or who we’re with, we never quite fit in. Maybe it’s something that everyone feels, at least at some point. It’s that sense of being an outsider, never finding that place where we truly feel like we belong. I wrote this song as an exploration of that feeling, the loneliness of searching for a place to call home, for someone to really see us for who we are.
It’s a journey of feeling lost, but also longing for connection, for meaning, and for a space where we can just be. We all carry the weight of our own struggles, our hopes, and our fears, often without sharing them. But the truth is, we all want the same thing—someone to lean on, someone to remember us, someone to make us feel like we matter. “Belong” is about that search, that need for human connection, and the hope that someday we’ll find a place where we truly fit.
-
Spring Came My Way
I open my eyes,
Open them wide,
Swing open the door,
Step outside.New grass growing,
Beneath my feet,
Dancing softly,
In the warm breeze.The morning sun glows,
Pouring through the trees,
Lighting up the drops of dew,
Bouncing off the leaves.I’m so happy today,
Spring came my way.
Traded working shoes,
For skies of blue.Winter has gone,
Summer is coming on,
And I feel the day was made,
All just for me.The flowers so bold,
With colours so bright,
Such a vibrant pallet,
Caught in the soft light.The birds up above,
Singing away,
Flying around,
Making my day.I’ll stay for a bit,
Lay back unfurled,
Basking in the springtime,
Not a care in the world.I’m so happy today,
Spring came my way.
Traded working shoes,
For skies of blue.Winter has gone,
Summer is coming on,
And I feel the day was made,
All just for me.I’m so happy today,
Spring came my way.
Traded working shoes,
For skies of blue.Winter has gone,
Summer is coming on,
And I feel the day was made,
All just for me. -
Spring Came My Way
Sometimes, in the middle of life’s darker moments, it’s the simplest things that remind us of the beauty in the world. When I had the word “springtime” written down in my notes, it sparked an idea for something lighter, something different. I wanted to create a song that celebrated nature’s ability to renew itself, a song that captures the joy of watching the earth reboot after a long, cold winter.
I’m no stranger to writing darker, more introspective songs, but there’s something magical about the way nature pulls itself out of the shadows and into the light, no matter how tough things may feel. Even when life feels heavy, it’s pretty hard not to love the freshness of spring—when the grass starts growing again, the flowers bloom, and the sun finally starts warming everything up. This song is my tribute to that feeling, to the hope and the happiness that comes with the seasons changing. It’s a reminder that even in our hardest moments, the world keeps moving forward, and we can too.
-
Last Dream Of You
We took the back roads,
As the day was fading,
Not knowing where we’re going,
It didn’t matter anyway.The daylight battles bravely,
But it flickers then fades,
Spilling into each crevice,
Then slips silently away.The headlights keeping watch,
Tell their stories to the night,
Cutting tunnels through the darkness,
As we drive this road tonight.Silhouettes in the distance,
Spring to life as they draw near,
Dancing once just for us,
Before they disappear.This is to be our last road,
You’re leaving me tonight,
But I’m not ready for goodbye,
Please stay just one more night.Our soundtrack is playing,
You’re wrapped up safe and warm,
I look for one last perfect smile,
As your favourite song comes on.One hand on the wheel,
The other clinging onto you,
But I can feel you leaving me,
And there’s nothing I can do.I try to hold you tighter,
But you start to drift away,
We are all out of forevers,
But there’s still much more to say.Welling eyes blur the white lines,
I’m lost, I’m cold, I’m numb,
The guideposts lost in the haze,
And our journey is almost done.Seconds stretched to hours,
As I relive this life,
Perfectly edited stories,
For my beautiful wife.Thank you for your last moments,
Thank you for these memories,
Our time cut short,
But it was everything to me.We’ve said our last goodbye,
You’ve gone and I have too,
I can finally close my eyes,
One last dream of you.We’ve said our last goodbye,
You’ve gone and I have too,
I can finally close my eyes,
One last dream of you.Last dream of you.
-
Last Dream Of You
“Last Dream of You” — a song that will forever hold a special place in my heart.
This song came about one night as I drove alone, with nothing but the hum of the road and the flicker of headlights cutting through the dark. It made me reflect on the weight of losing someone and the haunting idea of having to say goodbye. Road trips are usually full of excitement, laughter, and the promise of new memories. But when you’re faced with the reality of loss, that final journey takes on a different meaning — one of quiet reflection and love, but also the finality of time running out.“Last Dream of You” captures that fleeting moment when you’re trying to hold onto something that’s slipping away. It’s not about closure, but about the emotional weight of that last drive with someone you can’t bear to let go of. That space between saying goodbye and letting go, where everything you wish you could say is left unsaid. It’s raw, it’s emotional, and it’s a little dark — but it’s real.
Though this song has morphed into something new in a track called “Last Drive”, “Last Dream of You” will always be the first version, the one that holds so much meaning for me. It may have started as a single moment in time, but it turned into something much bigger — a reflection of love, loss, and the delicate balance between holding on and letting go.
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share this moment with you. I hope it resonates with you, wherever you may be in your own journey. Because in the end, it’s all about those final dreams — the ones we keep, the ones we let go, and the ones we carry with us forever.
-
No Longer Afraid Of The Dark
I’m standing right in front of you, but you don’t see me.
I try to tell you how I feel, but you’re not listening.
I’m pouring out my heart, but you just don’t seem to care.
I reach out desperately, but you’re no longer here.People look right through me, they don’t even know my name.
But that’s okay I don’t need them, they can’t save me anyway.
The road that I am walking, is only wide enough for one.
But I’m not lonely, I’m just fine on my own.I’m turning off all these lights, ’cause I don’t need them.
No longer afraid of the dark, I’ve got my lantern.
I hear the war machines, they’re getting louder.
I can feel the rumbling, and it’s all around now.People look right through me, they don’t even know my name.
But that’s okay I don’t need them, they can’t save me anyway.
The road that I am walking, is only wide enough for one.
But I’m not lonely, I’m just fine on my own.You don’t see what I see but that doesn’t make me wrong.
Even though on different paths we hum the same song.
Take your lonely little world and make it bigger.
Take aim at what you want and pull the trigger.People look right through me, they don’t even know my name.
But that’s okay I don’t need them, they can’t save me anyway.
The road that I am walking, is only wide enough for one.
But I’m not lonely, I’m just fine on my own.I watch the fading light drain from the tired sky,
I wait patiently, as another empty day slips by.
The night shines like a black-and-white movie,
Stars flicker on the screen, just not for me.People look right through me, they don’t even know my name.
But that’s okay I don’t need them, they can’t save me anyway.
The road that I am walking, is only wide enough for one.
But I’m not lonely, I’m just fine on my own. -
No Longer Afraid Of The Dark
This song is about feeling invisible. It’s about standing in front of people—maybe even someone you care about—and realizing they just don’t see you. That ache of being overlooked, dismissed, or misunderstood runs deep. But what this song also says is: you’re not alone in that feeling. We all face moments where we question our worth or feel like we’re walking through the world unseen.
It’s not okay to feel invisible—but it happens. And when it does, we have two choices: fade further into the background, or find our own light.This track is about choosing the second path. It’s about learning to trust your own voice, even when no one’s listening. It’s about finding peace in your own company, even if the road is narrow. It’s about making your own way, on your own terms—because no one else is coming to save you, and that’s strangely empowering.
Some songs are written to shout into the void. This one is about walking through it—with your head up, your lantern lit, and a quiet determination to keep going anyway.
-
If I Could Believe
I never knew that I could feel so lonely,
I never thought I’d end up here alone.
But now I sit here in this empty room,
Wondering how I didn’t know.The silence screams so loud it shakes the walls,
The fading light still dances on the floor.
I keep the lamp on for you by the door,
Your voice still echos down the hall.If I could believe I earned this pain somehow,
If I could believe I’m fine here by myself.
If I could believe there’s nothing left to save,
If I could believe you’re not coming home again.The clock still ticks like it’s expecting something,
The chair still rocks like you’re in it again.
Your scent lingers softly in every room,
And it whispers your name.The silence screams so loud it shakes the walls,
The fading light still dances on the floor.
I keep the lamp on for you by the door,
Your voice still echos down the hall.If I could believe I earned this pain somehow,
If I could believe I’m fine here by myself.
If I could believe there’s nothing left to save,
If I could believe you’re not coming home again.The door creaks like it remembers you,
It knows the rhythm of your walking shoes.
I kept the stained mug you liked best,
It’s the only piece of you I have left.The silence screams so loud it shakes the walls,
The fading light still dances on the floor.
I keep the lamp on for you by the door,
Your voice still echos down the hall.If I could believe that you had to go away,
If I could believe you just couldn’t stay.
If I could believe the pain I feel each day,
If I could believe these memories will fade.If I could believe this is how we end,
If I could believe I lost my best friend.
If I could believe this broken heart will mend,
If I could believe you’re not coming home again. -
If I Could Believe
This song is a quiet storm of unresolved emotion — a meditation on love lost without clarity or closure. It speaks from the hollow centre of heartbreak, where questions remain unanswered, and acceptance feels just out of reach.
The lyrics unravel the confusion and helplessness that follow the end of a relationship that didn’t end in a fight, a betrayal, or even a clear goodbye — just a slow, silent drift into absence. The narrator is left sitting in an empty room, surrounded by echoes, scents, and objects that still hold the shape of someone who’s no longer there. Every verse is steeped in longing, but what makes it especially painful is the absence of understanding — not knowing what went wrong, or why.
The chorus wrestles with that desperate, recurring thought: “If I could just believe…” — a haunting repetition that captures the way grief loops in on itself, looking for reasons, for justice, for meaning. But none come. It’s not just loss; it’s ambiguous loss, and that makes healing feel impossible.
Through subtle, almost mundane imagery — a ticking clock, a creaking door, a coffee mug — the song creates a vivid emotional landscape. These aren’t just props; they’re witnesses to love and its quiet vanishing act.
At its core, this is a song about trying to make peace with the unknown. There’s no clean resolution, no grand catharsis — just the aching truth that sometimes people leave, and we never really know why. And all we can do is sit with the ache, replay the memories, and learn how to keep breathing with a heart that still waits by the door.
-
How Could It Be?
You see me,
Trying to breathe,
How could it be?
So long I’ve felt this way.
My eyes ache,
Dark and empty,
How could it be?
So long I’ve felt this way,And I can’t see any way forward.
I only know what came before me.
When it begins, anticipation,
But then it ends so unexpectedly.Once safe and strong burning brightly,
And then it’s gone, left me on the floor.
The night’s on its way, so cold and lonely,
I wait patiently, it’s coming for me.You see me,
Trying to breathe,
How could it be?
So long I’ve felt this way.
My eyes ache,
Dark and empty,
How could it be?
So long I’ve felt this way.It’s too dark to see, I can’t move forward,
Controlling me, so I’ll stay here on my own.
Nowhere to go, silently waiting,
But I know, there’s nothing here for me.I sleep to dream of a new day dawning,
To find the strength to start over again.
The light streams in so I draw the curtains,
But it still gets in, burning my skin.You see me,
Trying to breathe,
How could it be?
So long I’ve felt this way.
My eyes ache,
Dark and empty,
How could it be?
So long I’ve felt this way.Here I am,
Lost and longing,
How could this be?
So long I’ve felt this way.
Here I stand,
Lost and lonely,
How could this be?
So long I’ve felt this way. -
How Could It Be?
This song is about feeling ancient — not in age, but in spirit. It’s about the crushing, invisible weight that builds over time when you’ve spent too long just trying to keep going.
When even breathing feels like a battle, and no matter how many days pass, the heaviness never really lifts.
We wrote this for the days that blur together. For the moments when hope feels like a myth, and light—when it finally arrives—burns instead of warms. It speaks to the numbness that sets in when life wears you down slowly, quietly, and relentlessly.The lyrics sit in that space between resignation and the faintest whisper of longing — the part of you that still dreams of something better, even if you’re too exhausted to reach for it. If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in routine, buried beneath the dust of days, or just waiting for something—anything—to change… this one’s for you.
-
Hey Now
Hey now, something’s gotta give,
And it won’t be long.
Hey now, we’ve been down this road before,
And we can’t go on.Hey now, you were always a drifter,
Never stayed too long.
Hey now, I waited while you wandered,
But maybe that was wrong.Hey now, never knew where you were going,
Never knew where you’d been.
Hey now, we came this far together,
But all journeys must end.Hey now, you packed your bags in silence,
Didn’t say a word.
Hey now, I watched your taillights fading,
Pretending I wasn’t hurt.Hey now, this tired city’s getting darker,
The lights are going out.
Hey now, one more room that’s empty,
Another broken promise in this town.Hey now, these empty streets are haunted,
Passing cafés and closing bars.
Hey now, your laughter’s in the lamplight,
But your shadow’s fading fast.Hey now, I can still hear you whisper,
Through this pouring rain.
Hey now, even though you’re long gone,
These memories still remain.Hey now, the porch light’s still burning,
In case you lose your way.
Hey now, maybe in some other life,
You might have stayed.Hey now, I’m moving through the seasons,
I’ve found some solid ground.
Hey now, I’m still bruised and broken,
But I’m stronger now somehow.Hey now, gonna keep moving forward,
I’m on my way back home.
Hey now, the journey’s a little colder,
But at least it’s a road I own.Hey now, there’s solace in the silence,
Even with this heartache.
Hey now, But I’ve learned the lonely road,
Can be the right one to take.Hey now, there’s solace in the silence,
And these scars may never fade.
Hey now, I’ve learned some painful lessons,
But I would do it all again.Hey now, there’s solace in the silence,
And these scars may never fade.
Hey now, I’ve learned some painful lessons,
But I would do it all again. -
Hey Now
“Hey Now” is a haunting, introspective ballad about the quiet aftermath of love lost and the long road toward acceptance. Each verse begins like a conversation left unfinished—echoes of a relationship marked by distance, silence, and all the things that were felt but never said.
The song follows the journey of someone who waited, watched, and finally had to let go. It paints intimate scenes of fading taillights, empty rooms, and the kind of heartbreak that doesn’t come with closure. Still, amidst the pain, there’s grace. The chorus shifts from grief to reflection, acknowledging that even on the loneliest roads, there can be peace—and even strength—in walking alone.
“Hey Now” doesn’t offer easy answers or dramatic conclusions. Instead, it sits with the complexity of love and memory, offering gentle resilience in place of resolution. It’s a song for anyone who’s had to keep going while carrying both the hurt and the hope that maybe, in another life, things could’ve been different.
-
Looking Up
Stood silent on a lonely road,
Defeated, feeling low,
Can’t see, it’s too dark tonight,
Worn down, too tired to fight.The journey’s hard the journey’s long,
Just got to keep moving on,
No idea where I’m meant to be,
No idea where I’m going.But I’m looking up,
Not giving up,
I’m getting up,
Even though it’s tough,
The road is rough,
But I’m strong enough,
Holding my head up,
I’m not backing up.
And I don’t mind at all,
How many times I fall,
And I don’t mind at all.Burrowed deep under my skin,
Found a vein, crawled right in,
No one noticed this withered heart,
They were too damn busy being too damn smart.Trapped in a prison of sinew and bone,
Locked up inside all alone,
Too proud to say I was wrong,
Too stubborn to change the path I’m on.But I’m looking up,
Not giving up,
I’m getting up,
Even though it’s tough,
The road is rough,
But I’m strong enough,
Holding my head up,
I’m not backing up.
And I don’t mind at all,
How many times I fall,
And I don’t mind at all.This pain in my heart just a thought in my head,
But it’s so damn hungry and it needs to be fed,
Don’t know this place, don’t know this face,
I’m just a crazy rat in this crazy rat race.Dying slowly day by day,
What a shame I hear them say,
But it’s always been this way.
Today we spend, tomorrow we’ll pay.But I’m looking up,
Not giving up,
I’m getting up,
Even though it’s tough,
The road is rough,
But I’m strong enough,
Holding my head up,
I’m not backing up.
And I don’t mind at all,
How many times I fall,
And I don’t mind at all.Serve the mirror or serve the machine,
Drowning in dreams of what could’ve been,
Poisoned by my wants and needs,
Burn the crops, grow the weeds.Can’t see, can’t hear, can’t speak,
So frustrated, tired and weak,
Obey the signs, obey the laws,
We’ve tried this once, it didn’t work before.But I’m looking up,
Not giving up,
I’m getting up,
Even though it’s tough,
The road is rough,
But I’m strong enough,
Holding my head up,
I’m not backing up.
And I don’t mind at all,
How many times I fall,
And I don’t mind at all. -
Looking Up
“Looking Up” is a defiant anthem for anyone who’s been kicked down by life but keeps standing back up—scraped, bruised, and stronger than before. It’s not about having answers or seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s about choosing to keep moving even when the path is broken, the world is cold, and the weight is almost too much to bear.
The verses pull no punches, exploring depression, frustration, and the feeling of being overlooked and overwhelmed by a society too distracted to care. There’s a sharp honesty in its anger and pain, but that’s what gives the chorus so much power—because when it hits, it doesn’t offer a miracle or a fix. It offers grit. Resilience. The kind of strength that comes not from certainty, but from refusing to give up.
With its raw lyrics, pounding rhythm, and relentless drive, “Looking Up” isn’t a song about winning—it’s a song about surviving. And sometimes, that’s the hardest and bravest thing you can do.
-
I Can’t Change
“I Can’t Change” is a song about heartbreak, escape, and the strange freedom that comes with letting go of everything—except the pain. Written in the aftermath of a breakup, the song captures that raw, in-between space where you’re not ready to move on, but you can’t stay where you were either. So you drive.
The verses trace a restless journey down endless highways, using motion as a distraction from emotion. There’s no clear destination, no plan—just the road, white lines blurring by, and the hum of tires soothing a wounded heart. The chorus repeats like the rhythm of the wheels, grounding the song in the idea that sometimes, forward is the only direction left, even when you know you’re not really healing.
This is a song for anyone who’s ever used the open road to outrun what’s behind them, knowing full well they’ll never be the same. It’s raw, honest, and unashamed of the truth: “I know I’m to blame, but I can’t change.”
-
I Can’t Change
Took my hands, off the wheel,
Just to see, how it feels,
It was quite a thrill,
And I feel alright.This road, I chose,
Not sure where it goes.
And the map, I follow,
Thrown out the window.The white lines all look the same,
But they seem to ease the pain,
And I know I’m to blame,
But I can’t change.Left turn, kept right,
Left the past, drove on by,
And I’ll drive through the night,
Drive all night.I see towns, rush by,
Out the corner, of my eye,
I don’t stop or even try,
And I wonder why.The white lines all look the same,
But they seem to ease the pain,
And I know I’m to blame,
But I can’t change.The white lines all look the same,
But they seem to ease the pain,
And I know I’m to blame,
But I can’t change.Headlights blind me,
It’s so hard to see,
But I have to keep moving,
And it will save me.Mirrors gaze, back in time,
At everything, I left behind,
Tail light, blurred signs,
And this broken heart of mine.The white lines all look the same,
But they seem to ease the pain,
And I know I’m to blame,
But I can’t change.The white lines all look the same,
But they seem to ease the pain,
And I know I’m to blame,
But I can’t change. -
Lost Highway
Lost Highway is about that feeling we don’t always talk about—the slow, quiet unraveling that comes when you’re moving through life without a clear direction, just trying to make sense of it all. It’s not dramatic or explosive. It’s more like a dull ache, the kind that wears you down over time.
The song explores what it feels like to keep going out of habit rather than purpose. Days blur together, time moves forward whether you’re ready or not, and each choice feels like it leads further from anything that resembles home. It’s about being tired—not just physically, but spiritually. Tired of the noise, tired of pretending it all makes sense.
There’s no resolution here. Just reflection. A sense of floating through life without answers, with only vague memories and unanswered questions as company. But there’s honesty in that. And sometimes, that’s all a song needs.
-
Lost Highway
I can hear voices ringing,
Far off in the distance,
I can hear the singing,
Calling me away.But I can’t see,
I’m blindly reaching,
And I have no idea,
What’s waiting for me.The waking sun,
Burns so brightly,
But then it’s gone,
It’s darker than before.These careful footsteps,
Lost on the highway,
Every road before me,
Leads me further from home.So desperate and tired,
I stumble and fall,
Wandering through days,
That meant nothing at all.And I can’t know,
What I think at this moment,
Each new day,
Is a new life for me.Time rushes by,
It’s relentless and it’s certain,
It steals all the things,
The things I believe.Time rushes by,
With pain and with purpose,
Washing off the blood,
But leaving the stains.Time rushes by,
We forget all our sorrow,
But keep all the scars,
And tomorrow make more.Time rushes by,
Like sand through my fingers,
Like shadows slowly stalking,
And they won’t let me be.So desperate and tired,
I stumble and fall,
Wandering through days,
That meant nothing at all.And I can’t know,
What I think at this moment,
Each new day,
Is a new life for me.So desperate and tired,
I stumble and fall,
Wandering through days,
That meant nothing at all.And I can’t know,
What I think at this moment,
Each new day,
Is a new life for me. -
Girl
This song is a reflection on a relationship that meant a lot to me—one that caught me off guard and left its mark. It’s not a love song in the usual sense. It’s more of a quiet admission: I didn’t always have the answers, didn’t always know what I was doing, but I showed up with what I had.
The lyrics are simple on purpose. They speak to the kind of love that doesn’t need grand gestures—just a moment of clarity, a fire that catches you off guard, and the quiet that follows when it all slips away.
We weren’t perfect, and things didn’t work out the way I hoped, but that doesn’t make it any less real. This song isn’t about regret—it’s about recognising what was good, even if it didn’t last. Sometimes, that has to be enough.
-
Girl
I have never been that clever,
Never been that strong,
Never been much of a planner,
I made it up as I went along.I’ve never been much of a sinner,
Never been much of a saint,
There’s a lot of things that I am,
There’s some things that I ain’t.I got a lousy sense of direction,
I never know where I am,
I never know where I’m heading,
But I’m doing the best I can.I took a chance, I don’t do that much,
I got to see you again,
Pushed my pride deep in my pocket,
And let you under my skin.And I felt the new day waking,
I felt the grass under my feet,
I felt the cool breeze on my face,
And I can’t get back to sleep.
I felt this fire raging,
I felt this beating heart,
I felt you deep in my veins,
And then we fell apart.Laying in bed, it’s 3am,
Just staring at the wall,
Not really awake, not really asleep,
Not really anything at all.You’re the face I see when I turn out the light,
The calming voice when I’m alone,
The first thing that I think of,
The place that I call home.When daylight fades mistakes made,
Rattle around in my head,
It’s not a tragedy, what’s meant to be,
But I’m sorry for what I said.The minutes come but quickly go,
What’s left is a distant memory,
But I’m grateful for the time we had,
And I guess that’s enough for me.And I felt the new day waking,
I felt the grass under my feet,
I felt the cool breeze on my face,
And I can’t get back to sleep.
I felt this fire raging,
I felt this beating heart,
I felt you deep in my veins,
And then we fell apart.I have never been that clever,
I have never been that strong,
Never been much of a planner,
That might be where I went wrong. -
These Flowers
This song tells the story of a very special relationship — one that changed everything for me. Before it began, I had been single for a long time. I didn’t even realise I was lonely until I wasn’t anymore. Suddenly, life was full of connection, laughter, late-night talks, and the kind of closeness that catches you by surprise and stays with you long after it’s gone.
“Even More Lonely Than Before” is about holding on to that feeling — and to the person who gave it to you. It’s about faded flowers that still sit on the shelf, photos I can’t throw away, and streets that don’t feel the same without her. Every verse is a piece of that memory, and every chorus are the words I didn’t know how to say at the time.
It’s also one of the songs we worked hardest on — continually fine-tuning the lyrics, the pacing, and the tone to try to truly express how much she meant to me. Every word was chosen with care, not just to tell the story, but to honour the feeling.
This is a long song — just over six minutes — because I couldn’t bring myself to cut anything. Each verse matters. Every line belongs. This isn’t just a song. It’s a message in a bottle. A quiet hope that, one day, she might hear it.
-
These Flowers
These flowers I picked for you, so bright, so beautiful,
But I’ve kept them for far too long.
Though their colours fade, I love them just the same,
And I can’t bear to throw them away.These worn photos of you and the stories I cling to,
Echoes of much better days we knew.
These memories wane I know but I don’t have to let them go,
Even though they cut so deep sometimes.
And I can’t find the words to tell you,
What you mean to me right now,
And I’m so scared of never feeling,
The way I did when you were still around.
But I keep praying for a miracle,
And I keep hoping for something more,
And I never knew I was lonely,
But I’m even more lonely than I was before.I walk these city streets the places we used to meet,
But without you there is not much I recognise.
I miss the way we talked, the endless nights, the morning walks,
And always knowing you were just a call away.And I loved all the things we did the places we went, the things we said,
And laughing out so loud that the whole street heard.
If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t change a single thing,
I’m so grateful for every moment we shared.And I can’t find the words to tell you,
What you mean to me right now,
And I’m so scared of never feeling,
The way I did when you were still around.
But I keep praying for a miracle,
And I keep hoping for something more,
And I never knew I was lonely,
But I’m even more lonely than I was before.I guess all things must end, even though I still pretend,
A hundred messages but no reply.
When you’ve got nothing left to lose and you’re just trying to make it through,
You do what you do just to get by.But life keeps marching on, each fleeting moment so quickly gone.
And although I try I keep falling further behind.
Seasons change, rivers flow, the moon still rises, the sun still glows.
Although I lost the fight I still can’t seem to let go.And I can’t find the words to tell you,
What you mean to me right now,
And I’m so scared of never feeling,
The way I did when you were still around.
But I keep praying for a miracle,
And I keep hoping for something more,
And I never knew I was lonely,
But I’m even more lonely than I was before. -
Hamster Wheel
This is a song about the exhaustion of going through the motions — of living a life that feels like a loop with no off-ramp. It explores the anxiety that keeps us trapped, the confusion of not knowing our purpose, and the quiet desperation of pretending everything’s fine just to make it through the day.
There’s no heroic breakthrough here. No perfect answer. Just the raw truth of feeling stuck — mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Every verse is a glimpse into that silent struggle: lying in the dark, questioning your own thoughts, and faking strength because vulnerability feels too risky.
The chorus hits like a mantra for anyone who’s ever felt like they’re running in place — “You take a step, and another… why even bother?” It’s not about giving up. It’s about acknowledging what it’s like to keep going when you don’t know why.
“Hamster Wheel” doesn’t reach for the light — it reflects what it’s like to be deep in the loop. But sometimes naming the feeling is the first step out of it. And for anyone who knows that cycle too well, this one’s for you.
-
Hamster Wheel
The daylight,
Has faded,
The night has come,
I’m praying,
and I’m waiting,
‘Till it has gone.The darkness,
All ‘round me,
Keeps me at home,
I’m staying,
I’m laying,
Here all alone.You take a step, and another,
You take a breath, why even bother?
Close your eyes, tell your lies,
And start all over again.You take a step, and another,
You take a breath, why even bother,
Close your eyes, tell your lies,
Just to start all over again.This bruising,
So confusing,
I don’t feel quite right.
It’s crazy,
What I say,
Just to get through each night.Do you ever,
Ever wonder,
Why I do what I do?
If you never,
Even better,
I won’t have to lie to you.You take a step, and another,
You take a breath, why even bother?
Close your eyes, tell your lies,
And start all over again.You take a step, and another,
You take a breath, why even bother,
Close your eyes, tell your lies,
Just to start all over again.I’m forever,
Running circles,
On this hamster wheel.
So tired,
So wired,
Can’t tell how I feel.This life,
Don’t owe me,
But I’m doing ok.
These people,
Don’t own me,
No matter what they say.You take a step, and another,
You take a breath, why even bother?
Close your eyes, tell your lies,
And start all over again.You take a step, and another,
You take a breath, why even bother,
Close your eyes, tell your lies,
Just to start all over again. -
Just Pretend
This is a song about the quiet kind of struggle — the kind that hides behind a smile. It’s about the weight of just getting by, of moving through days that blur into one another, of pretending to be okay because it’s easier than explaining the truth. It’s a reflection of the confusion that often comes with trying to make sense of your own feelings when nothing seems to add up.
There are times in life when everything feels out of focus. You question who you are, where you’re going, and whether any of it even matters. And when the world gets loud or overwhelming, we sometimes wear masks — not to deceive, but to survive. “One Day Soon” gives voice to that experience — the longing for clarity, for direction, for a version of yourself that feels real and solid.
But it’s not just a song of sadness — it’s a song of hope deferred. The repeated promise that “One day soon…” is a lifeline. It’s the whisper that maybe tomorrow will be the day you feel different. That maybe, just maybe, there’s still time to become the person you were meant to be.
This isn’t a polished story with a clean ending — it’s a lived-in, honest moment of someone lost in the middle. And for anyone who’s ever felt the same… this one’s for you.